Deciphering the Bloom

Chapter 1:

Lemon Geranium

Nicolao scanned the occupants of the bus looking for his usual seat.  His mouth quirked sideways in disappointment, the bus was unusually full and he would have to stand until something opened up. Perhaps he would have to forego his morning snooze to work. He grimaced again at the idea, adjusted his bag and began to make his way to the first open pole towards the rear.

“Um, you can sit here.”

Nicolao turned to meet the eyes of the speaker it was the Kid on the First Seat behind the driver.  That was not just who he was today, it was how he identified him in his mind. The small young man sat there every morning, his ears covered by headphones, a cap pulled low over his eyes and his things sprawled next to him, preventing anyone from sitting beside him.

“Sure, thank you,” he responded as the seat was cleared. Once the backpack was snugly settled under the seat Nicolao eased his large frame down and placed his own bag at his feet. He caught the bus driver looking at him in the rearview mirror. He recalled one of his first times catching this bus; a boy got on and motioned for Kid on the First Seat to move his things. The woman’s voice was too forceful as she barked a loud no, and directed the other male to open seats in the back. 

Maybe Kid on the First Seat is her son, he thought.

But that did not seem right to him. The clothes were clean but threadbare, and that backpack had seen better days. Since the driver had no objection to his sitting there and he was getting nowhere with his own musings, Nicolao decided to go fishing.

“Thank you again for the seat, I’m Nicolao,” he flashed him his friendliest smile and extended his hand.

“No prob--I mean you’re welcome,” the young man sighed, flustered, “I’m Davey.” He tried to keep his breathing under control. He had offered the god of his fantasies a seat, but had not thought it would lead to actual conversation.

 

Thinking is not your strong suit idiot, he chastised himself mentally.

As they shook hands he met Nicolao’s eyes and dropped them quickly to his lap. That small movement gave him hope that Davey was interested in him after all he liked what he saw thus far. Davey was about five foot and seven inches, almost foot shorter than Nicolao, slim, with pouty, pink lips and sad, dark blue eyes he pictured briefly all of the ways he could drive the sadness from his eyes, and had to shake himself to reality. He had to know how old he was before he got ahead of himself.

“So Davey, do you know why it’s so crowded?”

“Oh, it’s orientation down at Tech. It gets like this at this time of year. Time for the schools to dump the dead weight, and most people like me scramble to Tech to finish up. It won’t last long. Most people will lose interest in a week or two then things will go back to normal.” Davey’s voice was low, he would go weeks without speaking, and his vocal chords strained to perform when they were called upon.

Nicolao leaned in closer causing the smaller man to swallow nervously.

“I don’t quite understand, what is dumping the dead weight? I’ve only been here a few months and am not quite familiar with all things local.”

“Oh, well um,” Davey shrugged, somewhere in this explanation he was going to reveal to Nicolao the god, he was a loser, but at least he could look into those liquid brown eyes for this one morning. “This county has the best school system in the tri-county area based on standardized test scores and stuff. They keep on you about attendance and making improvements on your tests, cause the better the scores the more money and recognition.”

 Davey furrowed his eyebrows as he paused, Nicolao still appeared interested. “If you miss more than ten days or aren’t up to your yearly improvements you’re either dumped from the rolls, encouraged to transfer to another district, get your GED or do one of the alternative trade schools. This is the week after interim, people know whether they’ll make it this semester or if times up, so folks are looking at their options.”

“The dead weight dump is the district dumping kids.” Nicolao was disappointed, not only was Davey apparently a high school student, but his new home town was as mired in class division as he suspected. “I suppose those with disabilities are also dumped.”

Davey looked at his companion the big man’s expression had darkened. “No, actually students with disabilities have a file and their scores are not counted. It only affects people with no diagnosed disabilities.”

“And you are one of those dumped kids?”

Davey wished he was invisible, his common prayer to an uninterested God. “I’m in my last year of school and I’m twenty years old, not really a kid.” He looked out of the window, he couldn’t make out things in the distance without his glasses and he preferred it that way. His eyes naturally obscured the world from him, and the world never took him under scrutiny, so they were mutually blind to one another in his reckoning.

“But you kept going and soon you will be finished.”

Davey returned his gaze to him, unsure if the man was having fun at his expense. He had been talking to a twenty year old high school senior, and still didn’t appear fazed. Davey could not process that he still wanted to talk to him, even as Nicolao filled the silence.

“I have a younger sister, Nieves. She was what, my family just called slow,” Nicolao looked upward, visually picturing his sister, the corners of his mouth lifted in a soft smile.  

“I tell you she tried so hard to understand what came easily to the rest of us, and the neighborhood kids weren’t always kind.”  He shrugged his broad shoulders, brought his gaze from the past, and winked at Davey.

“The taunts never went too far, I made sure of that. But what I was always so proud of the way she never quit trying, never stopped, even when it seemed to be a waste of effort and time. Nieves was diagnosed with Visual Processing Disorder when she was fourteen. She kept trying. Whatever your reasons are you’re still in school. You should be proud you haven’t quit.”  Nicolao held Davey’s eyes, and was rewarded with dimples as he smiled.

He could hardly believe it. The object of his crush was not only gorgeous, but he was kind and was actually telling him, he should be proud.

He doesn’t know I’m a fag though, Davey told himself.

 Davey was naturally small, which most of the worlds a-holes equated with him being gay. He was not twitchy, but somehow the a-holes always knew, like it was tattooed on his forehead. 

“Did Nieves finish school?”

“No, actually she got her GED, she got knocked up her senior year, but that had nothing to do with her disability.”

Davey cocked his head to the side, not knowing what to say, then joined Nicolao as he laughed out loud; he noted the laugh was near soundless.

 Nicolao was happy with bits of information he’s gleaned, David was not a child and was making eye contact.

They were quickly approaching Davey’s stop, he wished he had more time. Nicolao was probably not gay, but maybe he could be a friendly face on the bus.

“Nicolao and Nieves what kind of names are those?”

“Spanish, my mother is Argentine and my last name, Evangelista, is courtesy of my Italian father. There are five of us kids all with names beginning with N.”

Davey liked the masculine rumble of his voice, and the slight accent.

“My stop is next.” Davey reluctantly shifted to get his backpack.  Nicolao did not move, and the slight man’s body pressed against him.  A vision of him bent over for another reason, caused Nicolao’s chest to tighten. The contact was something he definitely wanted more of. He reached over and pulled the collar of the young man’s jacket up.

“I know I am new to the weather, but aren’t you cold?”

Davey’s heart caught in his throat. The look from those warm, brown, pools was unmistakable, Nicolao was checking him out.

“I don’t get that cold,” Davey muttered, dropping his eyes.

 Nicolao saw that the headphones were attached not to an mp3 player, but to a walkman.

 “Well, maybe I’ll see you some time Nicolao.” Davey said as he slid past him.

“Yes, I will see you tomorrow Davey. Have a good day my friend.” He replied.

Davey blushed as he descended the steps. Of course he would see him tomorrow. They saw one another five days a week. Davey braced against the bone-chilling cold and swung his backpack over his shoulders. His heart fluttered as he thought of Nicolao, and made his way to his first class.

Nicolao was pondering what he wanted from the man that had just left his presence, when her voice intruded on his musings.

“Davey don’t have a coat.” The bus driver offered; she did not wait for a response, “that’s why he sits behind me, so he can warm up with my heater.” She made eye contact via the rearview mirror, and inclined her chin toward the small heater, pointing mostly to the vacant seat.

“He’s a good kid mister… ”

“Nicolao.”

“Nicolao, I’m Addie. I look out for him best I can.”

If that is true, why let him run around without a coat? He posed the question to himself.

As if she heard his thoughts, Addie shook her head, “The wind breaker he has on I gave him three years ago. I give him coats but the ass who’s ‘sposed to look after him takes them, to wear them or sell them. Either way he won’t take any more from me, it’s not like I haven’t tried, but he’d rather be cold than have me taken advantage of.”

Nicolao waited for Addie to say more, but that was the extent of what she wanted to share. She wanted to him to know Davey was a good kid, a good, cold kid. He looked down at his own coat. He had paid three hundred for it, an investment he could not regret, the coat fit his muscular frame, was warm, and he looked damn good in it. The cold of January chilled him to the bone. He wondered how Davey made it, every day with only the thin jacket.

“Well, Miss Addie, I’m a good guy, so we have that in common. But actions speak louder than words. Have a good day.” He called out as he exited the bus. The days ahead were full of promise now, and all it cost him was his morning shut eye.

****

A pattern formed in the following days. Nicolao would get on at his stop, sit next to Davey, and would inquire about how his day had unfolded. Davey would answer, but rarely initiated further conversation. He would either launch into an anecdote about his family, or observations about the city. Once he exited the bus, Nicolao would gain details from Addie.

She had been driving Davey for six years. He lived in the worst part of town, deemed the Under, as in under the poverty line.  He had transferred to the better high school, Wilson, his freshman year, which was why he was on her bus. Addie had two boys of her own, and had taken a liking to the shy teen. She said he would not make it to school for weeks on end, but at the beginning of every school year, he would be back. Things had never been good for the kid, but she noticed it got worse three years ago. He never dressed well, but he had less clothes, and he got skinnier. Then Davey just stopped showing up that winter, and did not reappear until he started the program at Tech, the next fall. Addie offered the theory, that Davey’s uncle had gotten more strung out on drugs, but warned Nicolao that he never spoke ill of the man.

There was only one day until the end of the week, and Nicolao had watched Davey, in the cold, for long enough. He made plans to meet Addie’s bus not far from his office on his lunch break.

 Addie was a stern looking woman. Her face showed few emotions, but when Nicolao showed her his purchase her mask slipped. The joy that welled up inside of her humbled him, it was a small thing, but loaded with meaning.

Friday morning Nicolao resisted the urge to smile when he saw Davey.

“Looking good in that coat, now I don’t have to worry about you getting to cold in this weather,” he fingered the sleeve of the brownish orange coat.

He blushed, “I don’t get that cold really-”

Nicolao raised a well formed eyebrow halting the obvious untruth.

“Thanks, it’s a loaner coat from Addie, but is sure feels nice.  You should never have worried. The cold isn’t that bad.” Davey offered.

Of course the coat was his, he had instructed Addie to offer his purchase to Davey, and have him leave the coat with Addie, since he was on her afternoon route as well. The coat would remain out of the uncle’s hands, and their little friend would be warm for at least part of the day.

“Does it really look good? I mean the color--” Davey faltered.

“You don’t like the color?” Nicolao could not keep the amusement from his voice.

“Oh, no, I mean, yeah, I like the color, but you said I looked good. I would never think of orange is all.” Davey wondered why he brought it up, he was happy for the coat. Nicolao was being nice when he said he looked good.

“It’s a contrasting color to your hair and blue eyes. It makes your features stand out, and in my opinion you look very good.”  He allowed his eyes to dance over Davey’s body. Davey imagined he could feel Nicolao’s gaze on his skin, and his dick responded to the phantom caress, becoming full with each passing second. He was all the more grateful for the coat so evidence his arousal could not be seen.  When he got home, it was his daily practice to go over every word Nicolao had spoken, his laughter, and the deep, baritone pitch of his voice was a hypnotic melody he pleasured himself by.

Nicolao observed with satisfaction, the quickening breath, and pupil dilation of his intended. Davey was reserved, but he was responsive. He enjoyed a good seduction, but that did not explain the other emotion tugging at him, as he saw him in the coat. They completed their ride in comfortable silence, as he pondered the nature of his feelings.

****

It was another week before Nicolao asked Davey out on a date.

Davey paused so long he thought he was going to be rejected. He wanted to just agree to anything, as long as he got to spend more time with Nicolao, but he had no clothes to wear on a date.

“Some nights I work on floors… ” It wasn’t a lie he did earn money occasionally, helping Mr. Ernst, but not that weekend.

“Well, how about lunch? There is an Italian place I love, not far from my home, Vesuvius.”

Davey nodded, “Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

“How about we meet there tomorrow at noon?”

Davey beamed at Nicolao, showing his dimples, and he could not help but return the brilliant smile.

“Here’s my card in case anything changes it has my cell, and business line.” He handed him the card and his own cell, “just dial your number and I will save it.” He ordered casually. 

“I don’t have a phone.” Davey ducked his head, as he returned the phone.

“Oh, well there just can’t be a change in plans. I will see you tomorrow, have a good day.” Nicolao called out his usual valediction.

****

When Nicolao arrived at Vesuvius, Davey was there waiting, without a coat.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No, I got here a bit early on the bus.” Davey had on a button down, white shirt, and his best jeans.

Nicolao was glad to see he had ditched the hat, and he could see his hair was a light blond halo of curls, but perched on the bridge of his nose were glasses. He wondered how he had missed that, he looked even more adorable. Without preamble, he grabbed Davey’s hand, and led him to a table in the corner. Davey followed mutely, watching the perfect ass in front of him.

After they seated themselves, Nicolao waved at the waitress, and pushed his hair behind his ear. For work he kept it neatly pulled back, and tucked in his jacket, but it hung freely, past his shoulder blades. The firm he worked for did think he should have a professional cut, but he claimed it was cultural they dropped the matter, and even offered him an apology.

“I come here a lot, this is officially my table.”

The waitress brought menus and water. When she returned, he asked if Davey was ready, but he shrugged, and asked Nicolao to order for them both, since he had never been there. Nicolao took the opportunity to order everything he loved from the menu. It was lunch, and he would work it off in the gym later.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses Davey.”

Davey chewed his calamari, “I’m near sighted, so I only put them on once I’m headed to class.” He decided to not mention his congenital cataract it was not a winning conversation.

“Speaking of class, you will have all of your credits in few weeks. What will you do once you are finished?” Nicolao regretted the question before he finished posing it.

Davey’s blue eyes took on their familiar sadness. “I have to get full-time work. There are lots of jobs for drivers, and things, but I don’t know how to drive. I’ve never been good with my hands in fact I’m not that good at anything really.  I have applications out, but I haven’t gotten one email or anything. Uncle Ben isn’t trying to make me move, so I’ll figure it out.”

“How long has it been you and your uncle?”

“Going on fourteen years? My mom died when I was seven. She got pneumonia. I remember the paramedics came, wheeled her out, and I never saw her again.”  There was a distance he could feel as Davey spoke. His voice was detached, as if hollowed out.

 Jesus, bad topic, way to start a date bring up his dead mother, Nicolao berated himself mentally.

“Your dad?”

Davey shrugged.

Nicolao’s large hand encompassed Davey’s hand, and squeezed. “It’s okay; you don’t have to talk about it. I was just trying to get to know you better. Why don’t you try your eggplant parmesan, and I’ll tell you how I know it can get better for you.”

Davey picked up his fork, but was surprised Nicolao did not let go of his fingers.  “I’m not the most successful guy I know. But I am making a comfortable life for myself, as an interpreter, and paralegal.”

Davey wanted to tell him he was the most successful person he knew, but only nodded in agreement.

“When I was twenty I had completed high school, but,” Nicolao blew a breath out, and paused.

Davey realized he was nervous.

“I was in prison.”

Davey wanted to tell him to stop lying to him, but he could see the sincerity in his eyes.   

        

“Why?”

Nicolao relaxed a bit, Davey had not removed his hand from his.

“Ultimately, DUI and cocaine possession, my mother has some displaced warrior theory, but the truth is I was just destructive. I come from a solid family, there is no excuse for what I put them all through, I liked dabbling in dangerous things. After graduation I didn’t want to work in my father’s auto body shop. I took classes at the local college, but I stopped going after one semester. My friends and I would go drinking, and race. Pretty soon, I was using drugs. I never got addicted, but I just kept pushing my limits.  One night I was really wasted, I had gotten dumped by my girlfriend and my boyfriend.”

Davey’s eyebrow shot up at that statement, he smirked. “I used to only date in pairs-- I was such an ass.”

Nicolao paused to drink, “I drove and tried to straighten out a curved road. I wrecked, totaling the car Pop and I had restored together. I was arrested for DUI, reckless endangerment, and when they inspected the Impala they found coke, mushrooms and weed.”

“Were you hurt?”

Nicolao let out a mirthless laugh, “No, hardly a scratch, I only destroyed the barrier and the car. But I could have killed someone, someone who unlike me, cared if they lived or died, and that is why my parents wouldn’t help me. My family showed up for all court dates, but refused to hire an attorney for me. Ma said the only way I would get better would be for me to go through the challenge I had created on my own, I did two years in jail.”

“So you’re not perfect?”

Nicolao let go of the slender fingers he had been grasping, as he threw his head back and laughed.

“God no, Davey, I’m not perfect, no one is. I know things for you aren’t the best. But don’t think you aren’t good at anything. I think you are, maybe you just don’t know what it is yet. While I was locked up I grew up. When I got out, I enrolled in college, and earned a degree in Sports Medicine. But I wound up doing a lot more work translating, and eventually mediation. My point, other than getting my skeletons out in the open, is that you have to have faith in yourself, you never know when or how things will turn around.”

Davey wanted to tell him that he had no real hope for that kind of turn around, but decided against it. He really just wanted to enjoy their time together while it lasted. He was certain Nicolao would lose interest at any moment, but not before he could feel his hand in his again. Davey savored every bite, the food was delicious.

“Most of this stuff I’ve never had before. It’s really good.”

”I’m glad you like it. If you’re adventurous, we can try a different type of cuisine at a restaurant neither one of us has had.”

Nicolao looked at the check, and reached for his wallet. The waitress, unbidden, brought boxes for the left-overs.

“So you think you want to go out with me again?” He asked the question with his head down, not willing to look up.

“Good God Davey, you really don’t get it? I thought that would be obvious, I don’t tell my dirt to everyone I meet.” He regarded his date, and wondered if things had gone as well as he thought. “Yes, David Bradley Collins, I am interested in going out with you again.”

“When?”

Nicolao allowed all of the levity to leave him. “How about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, for the foreseeable future.”

Davey wanted his mouth to stop moving, but his traitorous orifice would not stop now that it had someone to listen to it. He wanted to look into those soft brown eyes, and just be, but his mouth insisted on asking questions.

“Why?”

“I want to be your friend, and I hope you want to be mine, because I’m attracted to you in a way that is quite startling to me. You are on my mind every day, and I need to know if you think of me.  If you do, is it as more than just friends?”

Davey sat suddenly rendered mute he could only shake his head in confirmation.

“Can we spend the day together tomorrow? I was thinking we’d just get hang out at my place, watch a few movies, and get to know one another better.”

Davey realized he had stopped breathing, and sucked in a long, jagged breath in.

“No pressure…”

“No, I’d really like that. I want to see you tomorrow.” Davey confirmed.

“Good,” Nicolao responded. He paid for their lunch, and walked Davey to his stop.  Davey gave him a quizzical look when he told him where to meet him, but he did not question him. Nicolao sighed he would have to explain about the circumstances of his home. The bus approached, and he gave Davey all of the boxes explaining his place was full of left-overs.

Davey knew the bus would be there momentarily. He wished he had not implied he had to go to work. “I haven’t really eaten at many restaurants, so almost everything will be new to me. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

And the day after that, for the foreseeable future, thought Davey.

“Tomorrow,” Nicolao confirmed. He watched the bus pull away. It was a far more eventful lunch date than he’d planned, but he was pleased.

Chapter 2: Lilac

Davey stepped in the trailer, and deposited his burden on the counter. He was filled with relief to see that Uncle Ben wasn’t home, which morphed into guilt. Uncle Ben had taken him in when his mother died, instead of letting him go to foster care. Maybe Ben wasn’t always the best parent, but he did the best he could, he was steadfast in that belief. His wrongdoings were only because of the disease, drugs made him do things he wouldn’t normally do. But that didn’t make him a bad person. Davey’s mind flitted through all of his defenses for his uncle, and then he thought of Nicolao.

What will Nicolao think about Uncle Ben? Will he understand?

Davey recalled his Uncle holding him, sobbing over him in the hospital, his greatest proof of his uncle’s love. Nicolao had shared so much with him today, he wondered if he should tell him about that horrible time. The thought of it caused the room to go out of focus, and Davey gripped the edge of the laminate counter for support.

Why ruin things? There was no need to let him see me as even more pathetic. Davey settled his internal debate.

 He looked at the remnants of his lunch, happy it would be enough for his and his uncle’s dinner.

****

Nicolao sat on the toilet, removing his sweaty workout clothes. His muscles were fatigued from the extra reps. He hoped exhaustion would help his jumbled nerves. He was on edge, something of which he was not accustomed. He opened the shower door, and got under the spray.  He scrubbed himself thinking of Davey. He had been attracted to him from the moment he saw him on the bus, so the idea he was just grasping for a relationship because his plans for one had flopped was not accurate. He usually was sure of everything. Once he decided he wanted something he went after it with confidence. Davey was now one of those things, but Nicolao was left wondering at the damage he sensed in him. Davey was broken.

All Nicolao wanted to do was help repair the residual scars, and protect him from any that would do him harm. He recognized that when he saw him wearing the coat. Nicolao was glad to have been of help, but the fierce desire to protect that blossomed took time for him to accept.  

The why of it was puzzling, Davey was not what he normally was attracted to. Nicolao was drawn to tall, muscular, dark eyed, dark haired men like him. Davey came to his shoulders, with pale skin. He wondered how it would feel to have his lithe body pressed against his, his chin resting on top of ash blonde curls with his legs clasped around his waist.  The fleeting thought, caused his cock to jump. There had been a persistent tingling in his lower extremities since he saw Davey in the restaurant. When he held his hand, the warmth that spread from the contact promised combustion.

Nicolao grimaced; he needed a release, but was reluctant to bring it to himself. He had spent too many nights making love to his own fists; for four years, while watching August waste away. A vision of Augustine, August, extinguished his ardor, and he finished his shower. He settled in his bed making mental notes of what he wanted to pick up for the next day, as well as what he wanted to say. He prayed silently before he went to sleep, thankful for his learned patience, the gift of love from his family, August, and the possibilities of tomorrow.

****

Davey was roused from his sleep by Ben’s entrance in their home.

“What is this shit!”

Davey knew he was referring to the food. He kept his eyes firmly closed.

“Stupid cocksucking faggot, getting food for riding dicks these days.”

When the curtain that lead to his room was snatched open he braced for a tirade, but none came. Uncle Ben stayed in his room for a few, agonizing moments, and then he left. He tried to go back to sleep, grateful the truce was left intact. He and his uncle rarely interacted, equally avoiding one another. However, his sense of peace was shattered, and sleep was out of reach for the remainder of the night.

Davey sat exhausted on the bus. He was invigorated when he saw Nicolao waiting at the stop.

“Hey, David I’m so glad nothing changed.” He pulled him in for a quick hug. “I don’t live far from here but put this on.” Nicolao held out a black, leather jacket he had tucked in the crook of his arm.

Davey opened his mouth to protest, but Nicolao put his hand on his shoulder, “Please, for my peace of mind. I know you don’t get cold but in my head it is freezing.”

“Okay Nicolao.” He slid on the jacket that swallowed him; it was obviously Nicolao’s. Davey fixed him with what he hoped was a hard stare, but he only got a huge smile for his effort, perfect white teeth against olive skin. He zipped the jacket up, and let the soft leather surround him. It smelled the way only hide does, and of Nicolao. Davey inhaled deeply before he realized how odd he probably looked.

“Um, where do you live, I thought these were business suites?” He had wanted to ask that when Nicolao told him which stop to exit the bus.

“Ah, it will be revealed shortly. What do you think you want for lunch? There are a few places on the way or we can get something delivered.” He grabbed Davey’s hand, and they began walking.

Davey was eager to see Nicolao’s home. “Let’s get delivery okay?”

“Delivery it is. I thought after eating we can either go out to a movie or watch something at my place.”

“Um, that sounds fine.” They walked passed buildings, businesses, or restaurants. Nicolao did not appear self-conscious at all about the outward sign of affection, as he held Davey’s hand.  Davey pulled the captured appendage free, causing his companion to stop. Davey then reached for his hand, and threaded their fingers together a shy smile spread across his lips.

“I’m right around the corner.” They started out again.

When they turned the corner Nicolao shook his head, as he saw a man approaching.

“Hey, young buck!” The dreadlocked man hailed.

“Hello Justice, I thought you were going to go get something to eat.” Nicolao and Davey stopped in front of the man.

He was old, hard fifties or so. Unkempt locks trailed from his cap, even his grey beard was matted, and locked. “I am I am,” Justice bobbed his head, “you gave me ten dollars for the good word of the day, now that’s too much. I owe you more than a word, ten dollars I owe you wisdom.”

“I’m always in need of some wisdom, but my friend and I are getting a little chilled… ”

“No, I’m fine Nicolao I think you don’t like the cold weather.”

Nicolao smiled, “No, I can’t say I do, okay Justice some wisdom for my friend David and me, if you please.”

Glassy brown eyes peered at them. “Wisdom for today comes from a man that never lived. When I was a young man I lived for a tomorrow I wanted to reach, and now I’m old I spend every day in the past of all that I missed.” He waved vaguely toward their hands. “Cherish the feel of his skin on yours right now… in this moment. If you do that, connect to that then you have real power, real strength, and real life. You can call on that touch to give you light on the darkest night, it will fill you up better than food, with that remembrance nothing will break you, and you won’t end up like me an old man who never cherished the right things.” 

 

Davey stood shocked. Justice’s voice was saturated with regret, and he could see unshed tears in his eyes.

“Thank you Mr. Justice, you’re right and I’ll do my best,” Davey said, “and maybe it’s not too late for you.”

“Oh it is young man, it is. I can’t recall how her skin felt on mine, and I barely recollect what the baby looked like. It was before either of you were born, things were different then. I couldn’t accept the need for the anal probe, seems like such a small thing now.”

Davey looked at Nicolao wondering if he had misheard, but the smug smile and squeeze of his hand let him know he hadn’t. He was too shocked to speak.

“Where were your woman and child at, Justice?” Nicolao prompted.

“On the exploratory ship, they would beam me up most nights. The probes were for research, but after the exams I could be with my wife. I started refusing the research, and they wouldn’t come get me anymore.”

“It’ll be fine Justice, maybe they’ll come back one day, I am sure they miss you as much as you miss them. Why don’t you go get yourself something to eat, and maybe go to the book store for a while, get a good book?” He suggested.

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that young buck.” Justice stepped around them without meeting their eyes, lost in his mind. “The thing is; I miss the damn probes as much as I miss her, they were like one and the same.”

Nicolao chuckled out loud at the last offering. “Get warm and be safe.” He called to the man’s back. He lead Davey around the corner to what Davey assumed would be and alley.

“You knew he was going to say that.” Davey accused Nicolao; he knew his face was flaming with embarrassment.

Nicolao winked at Davey, “Count yourself lucky he didn’t go into detail about the semen extraction methods he endured to have his daughter.”

Davey laughed in spite of himself.

They approached a privacy fence with a circuit locked box. Nicolao released Davey’s hand, and fished a key out of his pocket, opened the door revealing a key pad.  He entered a number, and the audible release of locks could be heard. Nicolao pushed, and what appeared to be fence swung open.

Once through the gate Davey was startled to be on the side of a house. They made their way to the front, and Davey counted five houses, arranged in a semi- circle. There was a common green area, encircled by a street that branched into driveways, leading to garages.

“What’s this place?”  He finally asked, as Nicolao opened the door.

“Executive housing,” he responded, as he turned the lights on, “Jeremy calls it Hope’s Cove, as you can see there are five bungalows, my best guess is they were built to house families of top executives who were here for long stays. It’s located near everything anyone would need.” Nicolao hung up their coats. “Here let me show you around.”

Davey followed him, as he gave him a tour of the ‘bungalow’. It was a modern two bedroom house, with one bedroom filled with exercise equipment, and the other had the largest bed Davey had ever seen. The living room was furnished with an oversized leather couch, a recliner, and a 60 inch flat screen television, on an entertainment center. Overall, there was an element of comfort and success Davey was not accustomed.

“Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get my collection of takeout menus together.”  Nicolao interrupted Davey’s thoughts.

Nicolao gathered the menus, and rushed to Davey’s side. He could sense his nervousness from the moment they entered his home. He fanned pamphlets on the table, and waited for Davey to look them over.

Davey picked up a pizza menu. “For lunch can we just get pizza?”

“Stuffed with everything?”

“Sure.”

“Then I’ll call it in.” He slapped Davey’s thigh, and grabbed the phone.

“So what do you think?” Nicolao pushed his back into the couch, and turned on the television.

“It’s nice, really nice. Do you have neighbors?”

“Other than Justice no, this is the only inhabited spot.”

“Justice and me, man you sure like charity cases,” Davey said, regretting it as the words made their way in the air.

He felt Nicolao sit up, and move closer to him, so close he could smell the clean scent of his soap. He rested his hand on his leg, “David, look at me.”

Davey lifted his eyes. The handsome face that he could never get off his mind, was peering at him. There was nothing soft about Nicolao; he had a strong, square, jaw, with wide full lips. His eyes were watery, brown orbs Davey could lose himself in, that at the moment were narrowed at him intently. Nicolao in Davey’s estimation was walking perfection, and he was just Davey, Davey, who had just pissed off his only heart’s desire.

“David, you are not a charity case and neither is Justice.  I thought we agreed yesterday that I want you to be my boyfriend. Justice was at the gates to this place when I moved in. Jeremy, set it up for me. But he let me know that Justice stays in front of here, and no one is to disturb him and no one does. With all of the businesses around here ignoring him, and knowing Jeremy, I would say Justice is homeless by choice and not much else”  

“Boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend, I don’t like to share, that’s why I can’t live around my brothers and sisters they think everything is community property.”

Davey could not stop himself, he was grinning like an idiot, and he knew it. Nicolao vowed silently he would do more to see those dimples.

“You don’t have to decide right now or anything. I was planning on waiting, but you got me all wrong. I’m not looking for redemption by doing good deeds, I don’t want anything to happen to you before I get a chance to see if this is going to be something special,” Nicolao paused, “Which is why I bought you the coat that Addie keeps for you.”

“What!”

“I bought it so you wouldn’t freeze. It took me hours to settle on the burnt sienna for you, and it would’ve been weird for me to just give it to you.” Nicolao offered. He felt guilty for his deception, especially now he knew Davey saw himself as a goodwill recipient.

Davey thought for a moment. It was the nicest thing to be done for him in such a long time. The new orange---burnt sienna coat was warm, and it was a gift from his first boyfriend. Davey rested his hand over Nicolao’s, “Thank you.” He tilted his head upward, as he murmured his thanks.

He resisted the urge to lean in, and suck on his lower lip, as he thought of doing whenever he looked at Davey’s mouth. He raised the hand that was resting on his to his lips, gently caressing the knuckles with his mouth. “You are most welcome, David,” he husked. His eyes never left Davey’s, and the shudder the light contact caused gave Nicolao a jolt of satisfaction.

Davey swallowed the lump in his throat. “You call me David, no one else does.”

Nicolao relaxed dropping their hands between them.

“If you don’t like it I can stop.”

“No, I like the way it sounds when you say my name, it’s just new to me. All of this is new to me.” Davey hoped Nicolao understood what he meant. He had never had a real boyfriend.

Nic realized that when he touched David the smaller man calmed, but seemed prone to agree to whatever he said without much thought.  “It’s been a while, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going too fast. I honestly want to get as much out in the open as I can, so there are no misunderstandings. And because it isn’t new to me, I have a lot of things I have to clarify.”

“It isn’t too fast Nicolao if you waited for me then I would have only sat beside you that day on the bus.” Davey confessed.

“So you have never had a boyfriend,” he shook his head, “girlfriend?” Again Davey responded in the negative, this time blushing slightly.

“David, are you a virgin?”

His eyes got large as he shook his head vehemently. “N-no I am no virgin, I just haven’t done anything like this…” Davey’s voice faltered, he pulled his hand into his lap, and found he was afraid to glance at Nicolao.

Davey’s internal voice tormented him. If he was not a virgin, and never had a boyfriend the Nicolao knew. He knew he was a cock sucking piece of trash, if he suspected before, then at that moment he knew.

“I’m no virgin either so there’s that, but I would like for us to get tested for HIV. If or when the time comes for us to be together, best to be safe.” Nicolao refused to touch David, this was not the time for coercion, and he had to choose.

As the silence stretched Davey worried his lower lip with his teeth. Finally, he raised his head, and did not shrink from the hunger that he encountered in his Nicolao’s stare. “Okay, that sounds, perfect.”

“No such thing as perfect.”

Davey traced the line of Nicolao’s face with his finger. “Perfect to me, perfect for me, my boyfriend Nicolao.”  The barely audible words were a prayer, a petition, to any interested divinity to make that true in his lonely life.

Nicolao leaned into the caress, and everything fell away. There was no need for words, or thoughts, there was only Davey’s longing, calling to Nicolao’s soul to assuage. Their bodies came together, he pulled Davey into his lap, nuzzling his neck, and Davey’s hands raked in the mass of black hair. They both jumped from the sound of a buzzer. The spell broken, he moved to disentangle himself from their almost kiss, but Nicolao’s arms held him firmly.

He took two long breaths against Davey’s throat.

“I’m going to the gate for the pizza. You can get a drink from the refrigerator.” His lips brushed against Davey’s skin, causing his light burden to tremble. Nicolao released him, and headed out of the door, grabbing only his wallet. He could have buzzed the food in, but he needed the cold air to cool his blood. He and Davey had time, this was not going to be a meaningless sexual tryst, especially since that appeared to be the only thing he had ever had.

When Nicolao returned with the pizza, Davey was standing in front of the refrigerator holding a cola.

“There are lots of boxes in there; we really didn’t need the pizza.”

“True, but I don’t have any leftover pizza, so I ordered. Can you grab a soda for me? Let’s just eat in the living room.”

Davey watched as he toed off his shoes, and he followed suit. Nicolao sat cross legged on the couch, and reached for his food. His flexibility Davey found wholly unexpected.

They ate, exchanging positive head nods, as to confirm their lunch choice had been a good one.

 “I’m stuffed.” Davey proclaimed.

“Stuffed? You only had one slice. Try to eat another, if not then I’ll eat it, and gain even more weight.”

“Nicolao you aren’t fat.”

He patted his flat stomach. “Yes, but I’ve gained ten pounds it’s all of the takeout I know. I pay only for the utilities and they pay me as caretaker. I figured, I could treat myself a little, but I have to cut back.” He grabbed another slice of pizza, and was glad Davey took a second slice. Davey was too small, he suspected before, but fully realized it when he held him.

After eating, Nicolao put the box away, and they picked a movie from his collection. When the movie started Nicolao stretched his arm across the back of where Davey sat, soon Davey pressed into his side, resting his head on his shoulder. Nicolao dropped his arm, and pulled him in closer.

“I fit.” Davey quipped.

“I knew you would.” Nicolao said, resting his chin on Davey’s head.

Davey reveled in the feel of Nicolao’s hard body against his. He wanted to concentrate on the movie, but couldn’t. Nicolao was his boyfriend. How or why was a question, as was how or why he had said what he had, speaking his mind was not something he had the luxury of doing. But his words lead to him being in Nicolao’s arms. If honesty netted him such rewards it was something he would do regularly.  He was tired, full, and Nicolao was toasty. He wondered if everyone radiated warmth like him as he drifted out of consciousness.

When he woke from his nap Nicolao had one leg on the floor the other leg was stretched out on the couch, Davey was between those long legs. His back was resting on a powerful thigh, his head cradled in the crook of one arm, and the other hand was on his chest stroking the skin through his shirt. His host was watching television the volume so low Davey was certain he was reading lips.

Nicolao glanced down at him. “Sleep well?”

Davey blushed. “Yeah, sorry.”

“No need for you to be sorry, I napped for a bit myself.” He took note of the time, “It’s not late we can go somewhere, museum or mall.” He suggested.

Davey pulled up, shifting his body to face Nicolao, placing his arm across his chest to support his upper body. “I don’t want to be anywhere but right here, if that’s okay.”

Nicolao closed the distance between them, kissing with chaste tenderness, until the hand on his chest slid behind his head, urging Nicolao closer. He ran his tongue along Davey’s lower lip, then drew it into his mouth, suckling as he had desired for weeks. Davey’s mouth parted for his demanding tongue, he let him in, and he explored, delighting in every taste and texture. His moan was swallowed by Nicolao; the sound encouraged him to deepen the kiss. Not that encouragement was needed, Davey returned every nip and swipe, each equally enraptured with the aim of learning the other.

Davey was flush against his chest, and he could feel Nicolao’s heartbeat stamping out a cadence in concert with his own, their bodies vibrated in burgeoning want. They broke apart due only to oxygen deprivation.

As insecure as Davey was, he knew Nicolao wanted him. He was pressed against rapidly hardening proof beneath him. His own erection was becoming painful, pinned in his pants.

“Better than I imagined.” Nicolao eyed the kiss swollen lips of his David, as he spoke.

“You’ve been imagining it?”

“Of course, you and those lips are the stuff of my dreams.” Nicolao removed his hand from Davey’s hair, and moved to sit up. He immediately wanted to regain the physical contact, but his growing member was warring against his good intentions. He chided himself for acting like a teenager.

“I have to pee,” he announced, “if you have to go, the guest bathroom is right there.” Nicolao pointed, while making his way to his bedroom.

After relieving himself, Nicolao found his purchase from earlier in the day and brought it out. He placed it on the coffee table in front of Davey.

“I want you to take this.” He said simply.

Davey eyed the cell phone, and dropped his gaze as was his habit, but not before Nicolao read his face.

“Again it’s not noble; I want to be able to get in touch with you in case something comes up.” He began then, shook his head that was not completely true, only truth would do between he and Davey. “I want to talk to you sometimes, just to see how your day is going, and tell you about mine.” He admitted then paused, “I realize how it looks, but I’m not trying to buy you, I wouldn’t do that.”

Davey picked up the phone recalling his commitment to speaking his mind. “I can’t pay for anything, and you are giving me really nice stuff. I don’t think you are trying to buy me, but I do feel embarrassed.”

“There’s no need for that.”

Davey finally met Nicolao’s eyes. “You want to go out, like today, and I want to go, but look at me. Look at my clothes, now look at yours, it would be like you dragging a Raggedy Andy doll around with you.”

Nicolao winced.

“Even if you don’t mind, I hate getting looked at that way, being spoken to that way.”

“What way?” He asked.

“Like poor, white trash.”

“You are not trash!” Nicolao felt tendrils of rage begin to embrace him.

“Not to you, or I wouldn’t be here, I get that, but I know what I am. I love the Mercer Art Gallery, but people like me aren’t welcome. I haven’t been welcomed in a lot of places you think nothing about going into. I’m also freaked because it’s obvious, I will only ever take things from you. I mean, as a man, shouldn’t this all be, I don’t know, more fifty-fifty?”

Nicolao blew out a long breath. “First of all, I don’t know about people being trash, but if I ever catch anyone treating you that way I promise you, it will be their last time.”

Davey was taken aback by the genuine anger in Nicolao, there was a dangerous promise in those words, but instead of being scared, he was touched.

“Second, if you had a great job, with loads of money, the truth is I would pay for everything and buy you things. I know it is not forward thinking, but I do like to take care of the people in my life. It’s who I am, and how I’m built, as a person. It isn’t like you aren’t a man I know what gender you are, so if you can be okay with it then it’s not an issue. Third, I think you look fine. Of course, I would love to take you shopping, clothe your hot body, and go to every spot in town. But if you aren’t comfortable with that we can stay in and avoid the night life. It cuts down on the chances of someone stealing you from me.”

Davey turned red from the compliment.

Nicolao pulled Davey into him, and after some maneuvering they were seated the same way as when they napped. Davey rested his head on his chest, and they started a new movie. Periodically, Davey would raise his head, and they would kiss, gentle kisses, unrushed and precious.

Their dinner was scrounged out of the leftovers in the refrigerator. While eating Davey was overcome with the desire to know what Nicolao tasted like. The sudden urge to grab the generous bulge, he felt at times, was so strong his hands shook.

“Do you think we can have the HIV tests done tomorrow?” He blurted out.

Nicolao choked on his low mien. “After your last class, I can meet you at the clinic, I’ll take lunch then. We can go together, or you can go alone.

“No, together is fine.” Davey resumed eating.

When night fell, Nicolao walked him to the bus stop. Davey insisted he would be fine, not allowing him to call a cab. After the bus pulled away Nicolao sent a text.

Nicolao: Thanks for coming over had a great time. Forgive me for being overbearing. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well and maybe dream of me. Know I’ll dream of you.

Davey read the text all on the way home. Before disembarking he quickly sent back.

Davey: Thanks for the best day of my life.